7 ways to choose happiness today

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection” ~ Buddha

Managing the jig called parenthood not just sapped me out of my energies but also made me grumpy at times because rather than discussing current events, I was gushing how well my babies were belting out a rhyme with that cute lisp.

I had forgotten what I loved to do, what I did the best and what relaxed me. Forgotten what it was to choose happiness today and live in the moment. I didn’t remember when the last time I felt truly happy was. At the outset let me add here that being happy is a continuous process. It isn’t something I have achieved in totality, but yes, I do work towards being happy.

What are my mantras? Very simple rules that I follow and I’d love to share them with you. Here they are, my 7 ways to choose happiness today.

7 ways to choose happiness today

1. Appreciate yourself

We all make those mistakes. Instead of berating yourself, accept the mistake and learn to move on. It has taken me years to appreciate myself. Being self-critical is a lot easier that appreciating yourself. When in doubt, I write. I list 5 things that are good about me. When you do that you look at yourself in a different light.

2. Let go. Detach.

If things didn’t go the way I expected, it would upset me. Trust me, sometimes it still does. My happiness was related to my expectations. It takes great strength to let go and detach.  On a fine sunny morning, maybe you’ll be surrounded by a barrage of thoughts, incidents and choices you made that did not make you happy. But when you detach, the pain is lesser.

3. Do something you love

I was so occupied with getting the parenting role right that I forgot there were things I loved to do too. I love heading to my favourite coffee shop and working from there till it’s time for the children to get home from school. A lunch all by myself is yet something else that I love to do. No more fighting over which curry, I order what I love to eat and enjoy the peaceful meal. Did I also mention watching Modern Family in a loop? When you do things you love, remember that you are already choosing happiness.

4. Connect with the nature

There is something therapeutic about connecting with nature. But sadly, in the concrete jungle, I don’t have access to the nature the way I grew up surrounded by it. As an army kid, we travelled remote locations surrounded by the beauty of nature that I still connect too. The closest I can get to nature in my flat is with potted plants. There is something magical watching that lily bloom while sit down in the balcony with my cup of coffee. Or waiting patiently to see if the brahmakamal would bloom this year.

5. Making the choices

Whether I want to choose happiness over anger or gratitude over resentment, the choice is mine. Whether I choose to look after my body or choose to be grumpy rather than happy. The choice really is mine and I am responsible for it. The game changer for me was listing the pros and cons of my choices and I realised how easy it was to opt for happiness all the time.

6. Appreciate what I had

I was so busy complaining about what I didn’t have that I forgot to give gratitude to what I have. That is precisely why I have my gtatitude journal. Listing things that I am thankful for. A warm hug from the boys, a cozy bed to sleep in, work that I love to do, the list is endless. When you practice gratitude daily, you’ll realise there are a lot of thing to thank for than to lament over what you missed.

7. Love myself

I remember these lines from Baz Luhrmann’s song, Sunscreen ;

you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded

But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself

and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before

you and how fabulous you really looked…

And I choose to love myself. I love the greys in my hair and the lines that are beginning to show. I stopped looking at my imperfections, the freckles and blemishes. Instead I loved how I looked when I smiled.

I’ve come a long way, from not letting opinions become realities, choosing to love my body, not allowing negativity to dwell in my mind, not sacrificing my happiness and more. Achieving happiness is an ongoing process. There are times I falter, but what I try to do is instead of wallowing in the self-pity, I try to focus to get over it which makes it easier to let go and move on. All I know is that the key is not to give up. Because I know when I choose happiness, that’s exactly what I get.

Make that choice. Choose happiness. It always is yours. So what are going to be your ways to choose happiness today? Leave a comment and let me know!